UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient is in 4 bridesmaid group chats. Each sends 200 messages per day about the same three topics. She has opened none of them in 11 days. She is the maid of honor in one.
Chronic. Each chat outlives its wedding by 18 months.
Do not mute. Do not leave. Do not scroll. Enjoy dissociative peace.
Patients with Terminal Bridesmaid-Group-Chat Saturation typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Bridesmaid-Group-Chat Saturation was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Sodalitas nuptialis commatosus — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.