UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient places their tote bag — containing one banana and a dog-eared paperback — on the adjacent subway seat during rush hour. Makes sustained eye contact with every person who approaches. The bag will only be moved after the second polite request. With a sigh.
Permanent. The bag, they feel, has earned the seat.
Untreatable. The sigh is non-negotiable.
Patients with Acute Bag-on-Subway-Seat Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Bag-on-Subway-Seat Disorder belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Sarcina sedes occupatus, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.