UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient, objectively, has a good life. On paper. Looks great on paper. It is 11:47 PM on a Wednesday and patient is lying in bed next to their partner, trying to answer, honestly, the question 'am I actually happy.' Cannot answer. Has not been able to answer for 14 months. Is, however, reliably the smiling one in every photograph. The photographs are, it turns out, also the evidence patient cites when the question arises.
Chronic. The question reformulates itself at every quiet moment.
None. A physician with actual credentials would be more useful than our paperwork.
Patients with Terminal Am-I-Actually-Happy Spiral typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Am-I-Actually-Happy Spiral is a terminal behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Dubium laetitiae propriae — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.