UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient, at a a café, leans over from a neighboring table to weigh in on a breakup conversation they have been eavesdropping on for twenty minutes. Does not know the participants. Pulled up a chair without being invited. Plans to check on them again in twenty minutes.
Chronic. The advice is, in their view, helpful.
No known intervention. They have already pulled up a chair.
Patients with Severe Unprompted Coffee Shop Advice typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Unprompted Coffee Shop Advice is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Consilium non petitum perpetuum — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.