UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient returned from Costco with a week of groceries and a challenge. The fridge was already 74% full. Patient has now spent 22 minutes rearranging jars, bags, and leftover containers at increasingly desperate angles. A carton of eggs is balanced on a bag of spinach. A gallon of milk is tilted. A single apple has been wedged into a space too small for an apple. Patient will not, under any circumstances, throw anything away.
Chronic. Each Costco trip is the final Tetris round.
None. The fridge, like the patient, refuses to give up.
Patients with Severe Tetris Fridge Loading typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Tetris Fridge Loading was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Vasa frigorifica compressa perfecta — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.