UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has trained at the gym four days a week for 14 consecutive months. Patient has done: chest, back, biceps, triceps, shoulders, abs, more chest. Patient has, in 14 months, trained legs four times. Two of those four were accidental. The resulting physique is what the internet refers to as 'chicken legs': a fully developed upper body stacked on two very politely declining stems. Patient wears jeans exclusively. The beach is now, apparently, a problem.
Chronic. Each squat rack walk-by is a near miss.
None. Every Monday is, in patient's calendar, a chest day.
Patients with Severe Leg Day Avoidance Pattern typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Leg Day Avoidance Pattern was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Inferior corporis neglectus chronicus — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.