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Patient has taken 41 post-workout selfies in the gym mirror while four people wait to use the squat rack behind them. Has found the one with the best lighting. Will now spend 22 minutes selecting a caption. The caption will contain 'no days off.' Patient took a full day off on Monday.
Chronic. Deteriorates when lighting is favorable.
None. The caption will read 'grinding.'
Patients with Acute Gym Selfie Timing Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Gym Selfie Timing Disorder belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Imago sui post-gymnasii obsessiva, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.