UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has trained at the gym four days a week for 18 months. Every session is a glute session. Upper body has been touched three times. Two of those were accidental. The resulting physique is a carefully developed posterior attached to two arms that cannot, structurally, carry a full laundry basket. Patient owns 14 pairs of scrunch leggings. The leggings are, in patient's calendar, also the purpose.
Chronic. Every Monday is, apparently, hip-thrust day.
None. 'But upper body doesn't need as much work' is not, clinically, accurate.
Patients with Severe Glute-Only Training Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Glute-Only Training Syndrome is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Exercitatio glutealis exclusiva — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
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