UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient arrived at the Orangetheory class 12 minutes early specifically to claim the front-row treadmill closest to the instructor. Another member arrived 11 minutes early. A silent conflict has begun. Patient places their water bottle on the treadmill. The other member places their keys. Neither speaks. The class begins in eight minutes.
Chronic. Arrival times have escalated weekly.
None. The front row is, apparently, the point.
Patients with Severe Group Class Front-Row Politics typically present with some or all of the following:
This is the Institute's entry for Severe Group Class Front-Row Politics — a severe condition cataloged for archival purposes and shared for patient use. No prescription exists. No intervention has been shown effective. Recognition is the primary benefit of diagnosis.
Formal name: Prima linea classis politica. Not found in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. Found, routinely, in the patient population.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.