UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has registered a 94-pound retriever named Kevin as an emotional support animal and has now brought Kevin onto three commercial flights, one Uber Comfort, and into a Whole Foods where Kevin licked a shallot. The paperwork is from a website that also sold the vest. Kevin is, to be clear, a wonderful dog.
Chronic. The paperwork is technically online.
Untreatable. The shallot has been discarded.
Patients with Severe Emotional-Support-Animal Overreach typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Severe Emotional-Support-Animal Overreach present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Animalis sustinens impudenter, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.