UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient negotiates with their alarm in 9-minute increments for a total of 84 minutes daily. Has been late to every meeting for 3 years. Is considering setting it earlier.
Will not set it earlier.
None. Putting the phone across the room produced a single good week in 2022.
Patients with Compulsive Alarm-Snooze Addiction typically present with some or all of the following:
Compulsive Alarm-Snooze Addiction belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Negotiatus matinalis eternus, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.