UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient set the microwave for two minutes. Is now standing directly in front of it, watching the food rotate. Will not walk away. Does not know why they will not walk away. If they walk away, something bad will, statistically, not happen. But patient will not test this. The last 11 seconds are being counted aloud, internally.
Chronic. Each microwave session requires physical presence.
None. Phone-checking during microwave time is, apparently, a betrayal.
Patients with Advanced Microwave Vigilance typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Microwave Vigilance was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Observatio fornicis electromagneticae — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.