UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's alarm went off at 6:47 AM. Within nine seconds, they had checked: email, Slack, Instagram, the news, and a Venmo request from a friend. By 7 AM, they had absorbed four separate sources of stress before standing up. The morning, effectively, was over before it started.
Chronic. The phone is the first and last object of the day.
None. 'Alarm clock' has been considered as a solution and rejected.
Patients with Acute Morning Phone-First Panic typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Morning Phone-First Panic is an acute behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Primatus telephonicus matutinus — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.