UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has been 'seeing' someone for 14 months. Has met their parents. Has a drawer at their place. Refuses to call it a relationship. 'We are just vibing.' 'We are not putting labels on it.' Has, at 2 AM, cried about not being their girlfriend. By 9 AM, is back to 'we are keeping it casual.' The other party is having the same conversation in reverse with their therapist.
Chronic. The definition-avoidance is mutual and exhausting.
None. The label conversation has been deferred for 411 days.
Patients with Chronic Situationship Label Refusal typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic Situationship Label Refusal present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Relatio innominata perpetua, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.