UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient arrives at the airport gate 52 minutes before the announced boarding time and stands directly at the desk, boarding pass clutched, ignoring the 40 empty seats behind them. A queue has formed behind them. The queue is also 52 minutes early. The gate agent has stopped making eye contact.
Permanent. Sitting feels like losing.
No known intervention. Group numbers do not matter.
Patients with Chronic Pre-Boarding Gate Hover typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Pre-Boarding Gate Hover was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Portae aeronauticae statio prematura — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.