UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient dresses every morning as though they are in the A-plot of a prestige HBO series. Slow-motion walk-ready outfits. Pinterest-board color palette. Hair done to imply a meaningful montage. Patient is, however, going to Target. Patient has no fictional romantic subplot, no orchestral scoring, and no audience. The outfits show up anyway. Patient is aware of this and cannot stop.
Chronic. The aesthetic commitment outpaces the actual narrative.
None. A physician with actual credentials would be more useful than our paperwork.
Patients with Chronic Main-Character-Without-Plot Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
This is the Institute's entry for Chronic Main-Character-Without-Plot Disorder — a chronic condition cataloged for archival purposes and shared for patient use. No prescription exists. No intervention has been shown effective. Recognition is the primary benefit of diagnosis.
Formal name: Protagonistis sine historia. Not found in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. Found, routinely, in the patient population.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.