UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient moved in with six shirts. Patient now has four hangers. The remaining 47 hangers hold items he has never seen being worn. His side of the wardrobe is a rumor.
Gradual. Irreversible. His winter coat is in the garage.
Accept the hangers. Do not mention the unworn dresses. There is no universe in which this conversation ends well.
Patients with Chronic Closet-Overflow Colonisation typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic Closet-Overflow Colonisation present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Armarium conquista totalis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.