UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has appointed their dog Daisy as the ring bearer in their upcoming wedding. Daisy will be in a custom tuxedo. Daisy will walk down the aisle. Daisy does not walk on a leash without stopping every 14 feet. Patient has not factored this into the ceremony timeline. It will take longer than expected.
Permanent. The save-the-date features the dog.
None. A handler has been hired and briefed.
Patients with Catastrophic Dog-Wedding Participation typically present with some or all of the following:
Catastrophic Dog-Wedding Participation was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Canis nuptialis officium — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.