UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient takes a weekly progress photograph every Sunday at 6:47 AM, in the same bathroom, in the same pose, in the same lighting. Has a folder containing 94 near-identical side-profile booty shots. Has compared Week 47 to Week 1 and found, conclusively, that progress has occurred. Has shown this comparison to three friends. All three said 'yeah, definitely.' None of them could actually tell.
Chronic. The 94-photo archive expands weekly.
None. Week 95 is, apparently, already scheduled.
Patients with Advanced Weekly-Progress-Pic Compulsion typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Weekly-Progress-Pic Compulsion belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Imago progressus hebdomadalis, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.