UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has rented a Chevy Malibu from Hertz for three days and is driving it with the caution of someone transporting nitroglycerin. Parks at the far end of every lot. Refuses to take it through a car wash. Has photographed all four corners twice. Has not exceeded 62 mph on any highway. Has insurance, then took the extra insurance.
Chronic. Each rental triggers the full ritual.
None. Returning the car involves a second photograph session.
Patients with Acute Rental-Car Paranoia Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Rental-Car Paranoia Syndrome is an acute behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Anxietas vehiculum conductum — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.