UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient needs to use the gym bathroom but has convinced themselves they can 'make it home' in 40 minutes. Has now cut their workout short by 22 minutes. Has sprinted to their car with the specific waddle of someone who has miscalculated. Will not return to this gym for six days out of shame.
Chronic. Each miscalculation resets the avoidance window.
None. The gym bathroom, apparently, is a final frontier.
Patients with Acute Gym Bathroom Avoidance Panic typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Acute Gym Bathroom Avoidance Panic present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Horror latrinae publicae gymnicae, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.