Formulary Entry

Velamen Oris Publicum

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Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1

℞

Rx #87,291 Public Life & Strangers

Prescribed

Velamen Oris Publicum

(Public Mouth Cover, standard)

Dosage	One (1) elbow raised to cover mouth and nose at moment of sneeze
Frequency	Per sneeze, no exceptions
Duration	Lifelong
Refills	Unlimited — the elbow was always there

Side effects May include the specific muffled acoustic profile of a covered sneeze, a library patron who does not look up, and — within a week — the observation that the library, apparently, remains intact. The elbow did the work.

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Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Velamen Oris Publicum for:

Catastrophic sneeze deployment
94-decibel uncovered sneezing in enclosed spaces
The specific post-sneeze eye-contact recovery previously deemed necessary

What is this?

Prescription Velamen Oris Publicum belongs to the Institute Pharmacy's catalog of non-pharmacological interventions. The dosage is fictional. The intervention it describes is not. Patients who follow it tend to observe the predicted side effects.

The pharmacy's plain-language rendering is Public Mouth Cover, standard. The Latin is for the slip; the English reading is for filling it at home.

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