UNTREATABLE.COM
| Dosage | One (1) rehearsed deflection line, delivered warmly and without elaboration |
| Frequency | Per family gathering, per recurring question |
| Duration | Permanent, replaceable with a better script if one emerges |
| Refills | 0 — explanations feed the question; the script ends it |
The Institute dispenses Responsio Scripta Avia for:
Responsio Scripta Avia is part of the Institute Pharmacy's formulary of satirical prescriptions. Everything on this slip is fictional except the behavior it addresses. A real pharmacist, handed this slip, would decline to fill it. Patients are invited to fill it themselves.
Patients know it in practice as Grandparent-Pressure Script, memorized — the Latin is ceremonial; the English form is what they actually execute.
Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.