Formulary Entry

Quaestio Non-Necessaria

UNTREATABLE.COM

Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1

℞

Rx #71,926 Online Life & Social Media

Prescribed

Quaestio Non-Necessaria

(Unnecessary Query, not posed)

Dosage	Zero (0) Google searches of the form 'is [celebrity] dead' for 30 consecutive days
Frequency	Continuous
Duration	30 days minimum
Refills	Unlimited — any relevant news will, apparently, arrive without patient's query

Side effects May include the specific restlessness of a phantom 'I wonder if —,' the urge to 'just confirm they're still around,' and — critically — the observation that the 14 celebrities patient has Googled this year are, with one exception, still very much alive and unaware of the query.

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Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Quaestio Non-Necessaria for:

Severe 'is famous person dead' Google ritual
The late-night Wikipedia-obituary verification pattern
The specific compulsion to confirm the status of celebrities patient has no relationship with

What is this?

Prescription Quaestio Non-Necessaria belongs to the Institute Pharmacy's catalog of non-pharmacological interventions. The dosage is fictional. The intervention it describes is not. Patients who follow it tend to observe the predicted side effects.

The pharmacy's plain-language rendering is Unnecessary Query, not posed. The Latin is for the slip; the English reading is for filling it at home.

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