Formulary Entry

Descriptio Proportionalis

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Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1

℞

Rx #48,976 Marriage & Partnership

Prescribed

Descriptio Proportionalis

(Caption Proportion, matched)

Dosage	One (1) anniversary caption, written at a length proportional to the relationship's current stability rather than its current performance need
Frequency	Annually
Duration	Lifelong
Refills	0 — the length of the caption is, apparently, diagnostic

Side effects May include the specific restraint of a 40-word post when 340 felt necessary, the phantom urge to add 'my soft landing' one more time, and — critically — the observation that the partner, who did not comment on the 340-word version, might comment on a short honest one.

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Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Descriptio Proportionalis for:

Severe happy-anniversary-caption overreach
340-word paragraphs deployed within 9 hours of a 40-minute argument
The specific 'my person / my soft landing / reason I believe in love again' vocabulary pattern

What is this?

Prescription Descriptio Proportionalis belongs to the Institute Pharmacy's catalog of non-pharmacological interventions. The dosage is fictional. The intervention it describes is not. Patients who follow it tend to observe the predicted side effects.

The pharmacy's plain-language rendering is Caption Proportion, matched. The Latin is for the slip; the English reading is for filling it at home.

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Prescribed for

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