UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's anniversary post is 340 words. It describes the partner as 'my best friend, my person, my soft landing, the reason I believe in love again.' The relationship is, at time of posting, three years old. Patient and the partner had a 40-minute argument last night about a shared calendar. The post has, in 9 hours, accumulated 847 likes. The partner has not, himself, commented. The partner has, specifically, not commented.
Chronic. The caption length scales with the current tension.
None. The partner's uncommented status has been noted by mutual friends.
Patients with Severe Happy-Anniversary-Caption Overreach typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Happy-Anniversary-Caption Overreach belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Dedicatio publica inflata, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.