UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient pours a small 'taste' of gas-station coffee into a cup to 'see if they want the full cup,' drinks the entire taste, and leaves without paying. Has done this 47 times in their life. Refuses to acknowledge this as theft. The coffee pot knows.
Chronic. The 'taste' is now a full cup.
Untreatable. The attendant, on camera, is watching.
Patients with Terminal 'Gas Station Gamble' Coffee Theft Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal 'Gas Station Gamble' Coffee Theft Disorder belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Cafea stationis furtum microscopicum, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.