UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has just bitten into an apple. Halfway through, they feel an unfamiliar texture on their tongue. It is the little oval sticker with the PLU code. Patient did not see it. Patient did not rinse the apple. Patient has now chewed it. Patient cannot decide whether to spit it out, swallow it, or pretend it didn't happen. It didn't happen.
Chronic. Occurs approximately twice per fruit bowl.
None. Rinsing has been proposed and rejected as effort.
Patients with Terminal Fruit-Sticker Ingestion typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Fruit-Sticker Ingestion belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Imago fructualis consumpta involuntaria, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.