UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient applies full eyeliner on a moving a city bus during a pothole crisis. The bus jolts violently. The line remains perfect. The woman sitting beside her is holding her breath in solidarity. This is, somehow, art.
Chronic. The bus is, apparently, the vanity.
No cure. Suggesting she do this at home is a grave insult.
Patients with Terminal Commuter Makeup Mastery typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Commuter Makeup Mastery is a terminal behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Cosmetica ocularia transportica — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.