UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient, when cut off during a merge, develops an intense and disproportionate rage. Has delivered a full two-minute monologue to their own empty passenger seat. Has flashed high beams, gestured, and changed lanes aggressively to pass the offender, then immediately slowed down in front of them. The offender did not notice any of it.
Chronic. Activates within 0.8 seconds of the infraction.
Untreatable. The other driver cannot hear the monologue.
Patients with Severe 'This Is Not My Fault' Merging Rage typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe 'This Is Not My Fault' Merging Rage is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Ira fusionis defensiva — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.