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Patient owns 20+ pairs of black socks. Currently, on a Tuesday morning, cannot locate a matching pair. Has pulled out nine (9) individual black socks of differing lengths, heel shapes, and degrees of fade. Has inspected each pair by holding them up to the kitchen window in natural light. Will now wear two socks that are almost the same but not, technically, the same. This is the third time this week.
Chronic. The washing machine is, apparently, complicit.
None. Buying more black socks has, historically, worsened the condition.
Patients with Severe Sock Paradox Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Sock Paradox Disorder was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Calceus singularitas monocroma — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.