UNTREATABLE.COM
The dinner was fine. The Uber was fine. The last 11 miles have been silent. It is not fine. Patient does not know what happened between the valet and the freeway entrance.
Decodable only at home. The drive is a debrief on pause.
Do not fill the silence with radio. Do not ask 'are you okay'. Drive.
Patients with Severe Silent-Drive-Home Navigation typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Severe Silent-Drive-Home Navigation present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Autovehicularia taciturna post-eventus, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.