UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient delivers a low, confident, four-second belch in the middle of a shared WeWork, does not acknowledge it, and continues typing a Slack message about the Q3 pipeline. A coworker has made eye contact with another coworker. Nobody speaks. The belch, structurally, has been absorbed.
Permanent. The belch has been incorporated into the workflow.
Untreatable. HR has formally declined to address it.
Patients with Severe Open-Plan Burping Dignity typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Open-Plan Burping Dignity was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Eructatio publica sine pudore — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.