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Condition File

Advanced Pet-Voice FaceTime Demand

UNTREATABLE.COM Institute of Incurable Conditions
ADVANCED
Diagnosis
Advanced Pet-Voice FaceTime Demand
Videocolloquium animalis petitio
Clinical description

Patient demands, on every FaceTime call with their sister, to 'see the baby' — the baby being their sister's cat Luigi. The sister holds Luigi to the camera. Luigi is visibly uninterested. Patient baby-talks Luigi for 90 seconds. The sister's actual human children have never received this treatment.

Prognosis

Chronic. Every call, same format.

Recommended treatment

None. Luigi is the call's purpose.

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Common symptoms

Patients with Advanced Pet-Voice FaceTime Demand typically present with some or all of the following:

What is this?

Advanced Pet-Voice FaceTime Demand was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.

The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Videocolloquium animalis petitio — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.

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