UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's small apartment now contains three cat trees, a ceiling-mounted shelf system, a window hammock, and a 'cat patio' enclosure extending onto the fire escape. The cat, Beans, uses one of the trees. Guests cannot sit on the couch without consulting Beans first.
Permanent. The human occupies 30% of the apartment.
Untreatable. The cat, in theory, would like another tree.
Patients with Pathological Cat-Tree Apartment Takeover typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Pathological Cat-Tree Apartment Takeover present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Arbor felis dominium domesticum, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.