UNTREATABLE.COM
The PS5 has been out since 2020. Patient still plays exclusively on their PS4, which is audibly dying. The fan sounds like a lawnmower with a chest infection. Patient has cited 'backwards compatibility problems,' 'the library is better,' and 'it still works' as reasons, on rotation, for five years. The real reason is that a new console would cost $500. Patient has, during this same period, spent $490 on Fortnite skins.
Chronic. The fan noise will, eventually, be the reason.
None. The PS4 is, apparently, structural to the household's identity.
Patients with Chronic PS4-Held-Hostage Refusal typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic PS4-Held-Hostage Refusal was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Consola vetusta persistentia — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.