UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has paid $2,400 for an exhaust modification whose sole function is to produce loud pops and bangs on deceleration. No performance gain. No efficiency benefit. Purely acoustic. Has driven past the same gas station four times this week at 9:47 PM to test the sound profile. Neighbors have, via a specific app, submitted 14 noise complaints. The complaints have not resulted in action. The pops continue.
Chronic. The modification cannot, realistically, be reversed.
None. The pops are, to the patient, the point.
Patients with Chronic Popcorn-Exhaust Installation typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic Popcorn-Exhaust Installation present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Exhaustus displodens elaboratus, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
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