UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient is energized exclusively by unclear signals. A direct 'I like you' triggers an ick. A 'maybe' triggers a three-week infatuation.
Clarity is fatal to interest.
None. Healthy communication has been tried and found boring.
Patients with Chronic Mixed-Signal Addiction typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic Mixed-Signal Addiction present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Inconsistentus stimulans amoris, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.