UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient walks from the living room into the kitchen with a clear, specific purpose in mind. Crosses the threshold. The purpose has evaporated. Stands motionless by the fridge for 14 seconds scanning for clues. Walks back to the living room to retrace the thought. Remembers mid-return. Walks back to the kitchen. The purpose, again, is gone.
Chronic. Worsens when distracted or carrying something.
None. Returning to the original room recovers the thought roughly 74% of the time.
Patients with Chronic Doorway Effect typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic Doorway Effect present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Limen obliviosus episodica, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.