UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient opened the fridge to look for the mayo and discovered, in the back, a jar of something labeled in their own handwriting from 2022. Behind that, a half-used jar of capers from a recipe nobody remembers making. Three mustards, two of which are the same mustard. A bottle of sriracha with a crusted top. The mayo, when eventually located, expired in March.
Chronic. Each clean-out reveals new unexamined specimens.
None. The oldest jar will outlive several relationships.
Patients with Pathological Fridge Archaeology typically present with some or all of the following:
Pathological Fridge Archaeology belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Condimenta sepulchri permanens, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.