UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has had a check-engine light on for 11 months. Knows it is there. Has, on three occasions, placed a small piece of black electrical tape over it. Tape has fallen off twice. The car is still 'running fine.' Next inspection is in six weeks. Patient has a vague plan involving that.
Chronic. Will resolve at inspection failure.
None. The tape strategy continues.
Patients with Chronic Check-Engine-Light Denial typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic Check-Engine-Light Denial present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Negatio lampadae exclamationis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.