UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has six separate warning lights illuminated on their dashboard, including the one that looks like a little genie. Cannot identify any of them. Has not opened the owner's manual, which is in the glove box under a layer of napkins. Plans to 'ask the mechanic next time,' which is in nine months.
Chronic. Each new light increases vagueness about the previous ones.
None. The genie has been there since 2023.
Patients with Severe Dashboard-Warning Ignorance typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Dashboard-Warning Ignorance was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Ignorantia signi systematicus — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.