UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has a dedicated Google Sheet tracking every vet visit, medication, premium paid, and projected claim value for their dog Frankie across 2023 and 2024. Has decided the insurance 'is not worth it' three times. Has renewed it each time. The spreadsheet has color-coded tabs.
Chronic. Renewal deliberation now a quarterly ritual.
None. The tabs, somehow, multiply.
Patients with Advanced Pet-Insurance Spreadsheet Obsession typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Pet-Insurance Spreadsheet Obsession was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Assecuratio animalis calculata — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.