UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient checks the Furbo camera feed of their dog Biscuit 14 times during an eight-hour workday. Has, on three occasions, used the two-way audio to say 'I see you, Biscuit' to a deeply startled dog. Biscuit now looks suspicious of the camera. The treats-dispensing feature has been used 94 times this month.
Chronic. Productivity measurably impacted.
Untreatable. The $249 device has paid for itself, emotionally.
Patients with Chronic Pet-Camera Surveillance Dependence typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Pet-Camera Surveillance Dependence is a chronic behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Custodia videographica compulsiva — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.