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Patient's friend group was mid-crisis over a missed flight, a lost passport, or a restaurant's refusal to honor the reservation. Everyone was escalating. Patient, quietly, said 'we'll figure it out' and meant it. Resolved the problem in 14 minutes. Has never been observed to panic. Has done this through three weddings, two funerals, and one evacuation. Friends are, at this point, suspicious of the serenity.
Chronic. Crisis intensity correlates inversely with patient's heart rate.
None. The calm is, unfortunately, genuine.
Patients with Advanced Human Capybara Presentation typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Human Capybara Presentation was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Equanimitas inexplicabilis socialis — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.