UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has no memory of the 14 messages they sent between 1:04 and 2:18 AM. One was to their ex. One was to a group chat they are not in. One was a 47-second voice note of heavy breathing. They will not check.
Chronic. Worsens after three drinks. The phone, apparently, has a mind.
Untreatable. Deleting the message does not un-send it.
Patients with Advanced Drunk-Texting Amnesia typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Drunk-Texting Amnesia was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Epistula nocturna remotio — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.