UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has been composing the subject line for 11 minutes. The body took 4. The subject line is still 'Hi' and 'Hey' and 'Quick question' in rapid rotation.
Each send is preceded by a 20-second hesitation.
Default to 'Following up'. It works. It is always true.
Patients with Acute Email-Subject-Line Paralysis typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Acute Email-Subject-Line Paralysis present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Titulus electronicus indecisio, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.