UNTREATABLE.COM
| Dosage | One (1) finance app, selected, opened daily for 30 consecutive days |
| Frequency | Daily, non-negotiable |
| Duration | 30 days minimum; continue if the pattern holds |
| Refills | 0 — the sixth app is not, apparently, the one |
The Institute dispenses Unum Applicatio for:
Unum Applicatio is part of the Institute Pharmacy's formulary of satirical prescriptions. Everything on this slip is fictional except the behavior it addresses. A real pharmacist, handed this slip, would decline to fill it. Patients are invited to fill it themselves.
Patients know it in practice as One App, actually used — the Latin is ceremonial; the English form is what they actually execute.
Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.