UNTREATABLE.COM
Formulary Entry

Primum Productum Expeditum

UNTREATABLE.COM
Institute Pharmacy · Dispensary No. 1
℞
Rx #89,111 Self-Image & Ego
Prescribed
Primum Productum Expeditum
(First Product Shipped, finally)
DosageOne (1) product actually sourced, listed, and shipped — regardless of whether the analytics say it is 'optimal'
FrequencyWithin 30 days of prescription
DurationThe action completes the treatment
Refills0 — the second product gets easier after the first exists
Side effects May include the specific discomfort of selecting a 'suboptimal' product to get anything shipped at all, the phantom urge to cancel and go back to 'research,' and — critically — the observation that 14 months of 41 identified products has, apparently, not produced the $10K/month that any of them theoretically could.
Dr. Will Fixall
Dispensing pharmacist
DISPENSED
Fill this prescription
📁 Browse full list

Prescribed for

The Institute dispenses Primum Productum Expeditum for:

What is this?

Prescription Primum Productum Expeditum belongs to the Institute Pharmacy's catalog of non-pharmacological interventions. The dosage is fictional. The intervention it describes is not. Patients who follow it tend to observe the predicted side effects.

The pharmacy's plain-language rendering is First Product Shipped, finally. The Latin is for the slip; the English reading is for filling it at home.

Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.

Related conditions

Patients dispensed Primum Productum Expeditum are frequently presenting with:

Related prescriptions

Patients dispensed Primum Productum Expeditum are frequently also dispensed: