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| Dosage | One (1) phone call, minimum seven minutes |
| Frequency | Weekly |
| Duration | For the duration of her life |
| Refills | Unlimited — and expected |
The Institute dispenses Parentus Telephonicus for:
The Institute issues Parentus Telephonicus for the specific pattern cataloged in the paired condition file. All dispensing information — dosage, frequency, duration, refills — is meant to be read, not filled. The side-effects line, as with every Institute prescription, is where the treatment actually lives.
Translated into plain language, the prescription reads Call Your Mother. The dosage follows from the name.
Need a prescription of your own? Describe your complaint to the Institute Pharmacy. Or browse the full formulary.